Ask Amy: We’re married. Are these financial proposals “good and fair?”

dear Amy: We are “Pat” and “Leslie”.

We were both retired when we got married two years ago and we signed a prenuptial agreement that separates our finances.

We each have our own house and we spend half our time in each. We have agreed to share the daily expenses and to create an account, which we fund equally and on which each of us can withdraw these expenses.

We both have our own trust that controls our assets. Our assets, however, are significantly different, even though our earnings while we were working were about the same.

A portion of Pat’s assets come from a large inheritance, and Pat believes these funds are family money and should be passed on from generation to generation.

Leslie thinks this is wise family planning. Leslie invested a large sum in the education of the offspring. Pat agrees that, too, is wise family planning.

We were talking about travel and a proposal was put forward that travel expenses should be divided in proportion to assets.

A similar proposal was put forward for medical expenses, as one of us has significantly higher medical expenses.

We count on your wise advice to know if these are good and fair proposals.

Pat and Leslie: Please come to my house and fix my life.

Your decisions and asset allocation seem right to me, and if it works for you, then keep going!

Your financial plan for life appears both solid and responsible. But sometimes you need to color outside the lines, because life has a way of derailing even the most finely laid plans.

You are extremely good at deciding, distributing and dividing. My only suggestion to consider would be to find ways to share more.

A somewhat drastic idea would be for you to consider taking advantage of the hot real estate market, selling both of your homes and looking together for a home whose design and location will allow you to age comfortably in place. Together.

You can use proceeds from sales to fund a joint account to be used for travel and medical expenses – as needed.

dear Amy: The following has happened three times this month to people I know!

Here’s the story: Someone died without a will, leaving loved ones to deal with the consequences.

My friends struggle to access bank accounts to pay funeral expenses, enter apartments to empty their belongings, manage funeral homes, access email accounts so they can notify loved ones of the sudden departure and to find veterans’ benefits and mortgages and leases and insurance policies.

Quarrels over inheritances will occur next. Meanwhile, there are disputes over who will serve as executors.

It would have been so simple for these now departed souls to make arrangements before the inevitable day arrived.

Passwords, bank details, powers of attorney, car titles and all other legal documents – these can be discreetly hidden, with an “in case of emergency” note prominently displayed somewhere in the house.

Copies of all your wallet items, such as licenses and credit cards (front and back), should also be there.

Banks quickly freeze accounts. Thawing them can be difficult without the right papers.

Please use your platform to explain in your inimitable way that no one gets out of here alive, and it’s a kindness to officially make your wishes and transparent arrangements known – instead of charging those who love you to clean up your affairs. while they cry.

Concerned: “No one gets out of here alive.” It’s as inimitable as it gets.

Thank you very much for this important warning. I hope your message reaches many people, inspiring them to take these steps for the sake of those they will leave behind.

dear Amy: I had to answer the letter of “fed upwho had endured 10 Thanksgivings with bickering in-laws.

I had the best Thanksgiving of last year. After a horrible Easter with so many unnecessary changes and requests, I said nothing more, at least for a while.

I booked a flight and a hotel and left town for Thanksgiving. I decided that a turkey sandwich alone was better than another mess. It was the best decision.

As a result, Christmas was wonderful. Sometimes you can solve a problem by not being part of it.

VS: Taking a break can be good for everyone.

©2022 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content Agency

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